From Scared to Sacred – a toolkit for scary times

A recent newspaper headline read, “We are afraid.” We are living in fearful times, just like the Grandmothers described many years ago. Transforming this energy of fear is not just good for us, it will “lift the entire template of life”. Those words and all of the words in bold are quoted from the books given by the Great Council of the Grandmothers.

Fear is the baseline negative state…it lies at the bottom of all misery. Not just some of the time … all of the time.  

All of the so-called problems in the world are fed by the energy of fear.

People who commit atrocities…have all been taken over by fear. Fear, if given control, will turn anyone into a monster. So don’t condemn, but rather pray for those who, for a time at least, have lost sight of their soul because of fear. Affirm the lighted one that is still within them.

FIRST AID FOR FEAR

So look for [fear]…keep an eye on it. This “first aid kit” is based on the Grandmothers teachings and our own experience dealing with our own innumerable fears.

  1. When you first notice yourself feeling fearful, anxious, worried or nervous, stop whatever you are doing.
  2. Make contact with the Divine (the light inside of you, the Grandmothers, the Net of Light, or another expression of the Divine).
  3. Ask the Divine for help with your fear.
  4. Face your fear! Together with the Divine, look at it, observe it, and listen to what it has to say. Do not judge your fear or try to change it! Let it be there – just look at it.
  5. Hold your fear in the Net of Light. When you stay in contact with one another and hold to the Net of Light, you create a force field where fear is unable to live.
  6. Repeat this every time you feel uneasy, anxious or fearful. Working like this is service.

Each time you look fear in the face, it will weaken, shrink, and finally disappear.

 

FROM SCARED TO SACRED

Every time we react to fear in this constructive way, we are claiming and holding sacred space.

Do not forget to take this step [to hold sacred space]. In times approaching, many will panic, but you need not. Simply choose to hold this space, and then do it.

It is time to step forward and claim sacred space.  By standing in your place of light, the entire template of life is lifted.

 

Given in love,

Golden Eagle Feather

Van bang tot heilig (NL versie van “From scared to sacred”)

We leven in angstige tijden. Je hoeft maar de krant open te slaan of naar het nieuws te luisteren…  De Grootmoeders hebben dit jaren geleden al opgemerkt en ons verteld dat : “als we leren met deze energie van angst om te gaan,  dit niet enkel heilzaam zal zijn voor onszelf maar  “het leven in zijn geheel zal opgetild worden”. Deze laatste woorden en alle woorden in het vet gedrukt, zijn terug te vinden in de boeken van de Grootmoeders  :

Angst is een negatieve zijnstoestand, een negatieve emotie die aan de basis ligt van alle miserie in de wereld. En dit niet af en toe maar … altijd!

Al de zogenaamde problemen in de wereld zijn gevoed door de energie van angst.

Mensen die misdaden tegen de mensheid begaan zijn stuk voor stuk in de ban van angst. Angst kan, als het de controle krijgt,  iedereen in een monster veranderen. Dus veroordel diegene niet, maar bid voor hen wie, tenminste tijdelijk, hun ziel uit het oog verloren hebben omwille van angst.  Bevestig het licht dat nog steeds in hen aanwezig is .

 

EERSTE HULP BIJ ANGST

Dus kijk uit voor angst en houd het in de gaten! Het zal al jouw aandacht opeisen!

Deze “eerst hulp”- kit is gebaseerd op de leer van de Grootmoeders in combinatie met onze eigen ervaringen bij de laatste Grootmoedersbijeenkomst:

  1. Zodra je merkt dat je angstig, zenuwachtig, bezorgd, of nerveus voelt, stop met wat je aan het doen bent.
  2. Maak contact met het Goddelijke (het licht binnenin jezelf, de Grootmoeders, het Net van Licht, of een andere gedaante van het Goddelijke).
  3. Vraag het Goddelijke om hulp met jouw angst.
  4. Observeer jouw angst in stilte samen met het Goddelijke. Kijk ernaar, en luister  wat jouw angst te zeggen heeft. Probeer er niet van weg te lopen, of deze angst te negeren of te veroordelen. Laat het zijn – kijk er gewoon naar.
  5. Houd jouw angst in het Net van Licht. Als jullie met elkaar in contact blijven en vasthouden aan het Net van Licht, creëer je een KRACHTVELD waar angst niet kan overleven. Dus blijf in het licht!
  6. Herhaal deze stappen elke keer dat je op je ongemak voelt, als je zenuwachtig of angstig voelt.Werken op deze manier is dienstbaar zijn.

Elke keer dat je angst aankijkt, zal het verzwakken, krimpen, en uiteindelijk verdwijnen…

 

 

 

 

FROM SCARED TO SACRED (VAN BANG NAAR HEILIG)

Elke keer dat we op angst reageren op deze opbouwende manier,  houden we een heilige ruimte vast.

Vergeet niet om deze stap te zetten [om een heilige ruimte vast te houden]. In de tijden die komen,  zullen velen in paniek geraken, maar jij hoeft dat niet te doen. Besluit gewoon om deze ruimte vast te houden, en doe dat dan.

Het is tijd om naar voren te stappen en een heilige ruimte op te eisen voor jezelf en voor alle wezens. Dit is wat nu nodig is.

 

Met liefdevolle groeten,

Golden Eagle Feather

Five hints for peace and love

Voor Nederlands, zie hieronder…

In the aftermath of my recent mental burp about “love is not sacrifice”, I created a list of five points of attention that help me to stay peaceful and loving. I have been applying all of them conscientiously and the results are GREAT. I have been receiving more love, I feel more peaceful, I respect the people around me more, and I feel everything much more deeply – in a good way.

Five hints for peace and love:

  1. Know what you are feeling.
  2. Stay out of other people’s business.
  3. Ask for what you want.
  4. Be loving.
  5. Speak the truth.

I wish you a loving, peaceful, empowered life.

Holding you in the Net of Light,

Golden Eagle Feather

NEDERLANDSE VERTALING:

Nadat ik schreef “de liefde is geen opoffering” (mijn laatste, lange mentale oprisping in het Engels geschreven), ik heb een lijstje van 5 aandachtspunten die me helpen om liefdevol en vredevol te blijven. Gedurende de laatste paar dagen heb ik ze zorgvuldig toegepast, en de resultaat is gewoon GEWELDIG geweest. Ik heb meer liefde ontvangen, ik voel me zoveel rustiger, ik lach meer, ik heb meer respect voor mijn medemens, en ik voel alles meer intens – maar op een goede manier.

Vijf aandachtspunten voor meer liefde en vrede:

  1. Ken jouw eigen gevoelens.
  2. Moei je niet.
  3. Wat wil je? Vraag het maar.
  4. Wees liefdevol.
  5. Spreek de waarheid.

Ik wens je een liefdevol, vredevol, bekrachtigd leven.

Ik hou je in het Net van Licht,

Groetjes,

Golden Eagle Feather

 

On “helping”: Love does not equal sacrifice

Life has been teaching me about love, sacrifice, obligation, and giving for a while now.

In my highest expression, I am a loving, giving, generous, caring person. But sometimes my helping and caring cast a shadow, either on myself or on the person I supposedly want to “help”. This subject is endlessly fascinating to me.

How do I know when I am truly helping someone? What sacrifices does love require, if any? What sacrifices does love invite us to make? And what happens when helping actually is not helping at all, but something dark that gets disguised as helping?

 

There are different kinds of “helping” energies:

The first kind is helping because you feel true, deep, unselfish love.

This is the way that God loves creation – without a single need, demand, or expectation. This kind of love is rare among humans. This is the kind of love that we give when thinking about the Net of Light; the Net of Light shines on all with pure love. All are supported by it, cradled by it, regardless of what they do or who they are. This love supports life in all of its forms.

Giving out of this source of endless, unselfish love feels good to both the giver and the receiver. Both parties leave the encounter feeling stronger, lighter, happier and more connected. This is the mark of true helping: it is a win-win situation that elevates both parties.

This is the kind of helping and self-sacrifice that Jesus talked about; it is the kind of helping that all spiritual masters do. There is truly no greater joy than helping in this way. Most people don’t know how to help like this, however.

The other kinds of “help” are actually manipulative self-sacrifice.

Sacrificing yourself because you feel obliged/guilty is common. A typical example is sacrificing yourself for a dominating parent or lover. You are “expected” to sacrifice for a parent or a lover, and they tell you that regularly, either subtly or overtly. So you “help” them, because you are a “helpful” or “good” person.

This kind of “helping” leads to feelings of desperation. It makes you feel trapped, angry, resentful, irritable (and sometimes anxious and confused, depending on how subtle the person is when they elicit this feeling of obligation in you).

Remedy: The more (or less) obvious they are about their expectations, the more (or less) you will see what is happening. The more clearly you see their expectations and question them, the less confused you feel and the more empowered you become. And the more choices you have, and the more dialogue becomes possible.

In the end, you can choose to not “help” in certain ways, or you can choose to perform the same “obligatory” activities but with a completely different intention – one that feels good for both you and the receiver.

Sacrificing yourself to foster dependency. This is a favorite of mothers and women in general, but men are certainly not exempt! This is a manipulative way of creating a situation where people depend on your “help” so much, you secretly hope they will stay with you forever and you won’t be alone.

This kind of “helping” stems from (and leads to) fear of abandonment, disdain for the person being helped, and rage when they don’t help you when you need their help the most. You earned payback, after all, haven’t you? Mothers, be careful of treating your children like a self-sacrifice bank account. There is no guaranteed service-payback at the end of your life.

Remedy: Have more than one supportive person in your life. Notice when you start to criticize or minimize that person’s capacities, when you see them as “impaired” or “unhealthy” or “needy” or “dysfunctional” or even “young” – that is a sign that you are “making them small” to meet your needs and assuage your own insecurities. (Of course, children are needy and young; I am talking about relationships with equals here. Your role as mom or dad is to help your children in the unselfish, responsible way outlined above, as much as you can.)

So sit down with yourself; have a cup of coffee with your fears and your loneliness. Take your attention off of the person you “help”. Instead, put the focus on yourself. Find peers, and show up when you are with them. Share about your own needs, expose your inner self to them and see if they are able get out of their needy role for a while. Ask them to help you with something non-essential. Do not ask them to help with something essential because they are not accustomed to being in the helping role with you and they are likely to let you down.

True friends and truly loving (adult) children and partners will help you when you need help. On the other hand, dependent, needy (manipulative) people masquerading as friends or freeloading adult children will gladly let you help them but they will disappear when you need them. They won’t always say no outright; they will just be “unable” to help you – they will be too poor, too unhealthy, too tired, too burned-out, too emotionally distraught, they will miss the bus, whatever.

It will be a good excuse at the time, but the action remains the same in the end. You help them but they don’t help you back, even on the rare occasions when you ask. Sooner or later the imbalance makes you feel enraged; you either become aggressive or you leave the relationship/friendship and start the same pattern with someone new.

 

Sacrificing yourself makes you angry, which gives you a righteous excuse to be dominant and controlling. When you let someone take advantage of you for too long, sooner or later anger shows up. The anger feels good – it’s empowering, it brings change to an unbalanced situation. It feels like a way of  “evening the score” or expressing long-repressed feelings. Ultimately, you can even become the dominator, aggressor or abuser if the dynamics are right.

This kind of “angry helping” looks like justified outrage, sometimes directed at someone in particular but sometimes it looks like lashing out in general, like at the government or “kids these days” or a particular type or group of people. It’s meant to be helpful and positive, but it looks and sounds like anger and domination.

I have repeated this type of pattern with different people over the years. I listen to other people’s obsessions, they feel better for having dumped their crap on me, I give them advice (feeling superior, smug, smart and “helpful”), and then they go home, don’t change anything, and come back later with exactly the same problem or obsession. Rinse and repeat, with me getting more and more frustrated at their lack of progress and their boring same-old problems. Ultimately, I either suppress my anger until I leave the friendship (passive-aggressively) or I get more and more righteously indignant in my advice-giving.

In the first case, when I just function as the endlessly patient, kind and generous shoulder to cry on, the friend leaves feeling much relieved and I leave feeling exhausted until I can’t stand it anymore and I disappear, leaving them feeling abandoned.

In the second case, when I start getting increasingly strident and irritated by the lack of movement and being “forced” to listen to the same refrain over and over, and I give “better and better advice”, I take on the role of abuser and I start hating myself as well as feeling angry with them.

This kind of “helping” makes you feel strong and justified in the moment itself but afterwards you feel like shit about yourself, because you know deep down that you’re not being nice at all. The other person doesn’t leave the conversation feeling empowered or clearer; usually they just feel either overwhelmed, confused or depressed, even hopeless. (They feel so bleak because they gave you all the power and authority, and you were glad to take it.)

Remedy for all “helping conversations”: Never give advice, not even when asked. Don’t even say “The way I see it is…” unless you can do that without any emotional attachment. If someone asks for advice outright, counter with a question – “Well, what do you think?” Or say, “Gee, I don’t know.” (Because you don’t!)

If you have been listening for too long in one conversation or you find yourself discussing a certain uncomfortable subject too often with the same person, either simply change the subject or tell them outright that you are getting uncomfortable talking about that subject. If they can’t or won’t stop, then excuse yourself, walk away or hang up as gently as you can. DO NOT give advice, and do not encourage the conversation to continue (don’t keep listening longer than you are truly comfortable with). The whole thing is too risky. You are likely to start dominating sooner or later, even if you don’t give advice immediately or if you don’t give outright advice.

Remember, true giving/helping feels good for both the receiver and the giver. Your dominating attitude doesn’t feel good for either of you and will in fact only damage your relationship. Practice “walking away” emotionally and physically until you can stay in this kind of conversation without getting triggered and without giving any type of advice, even when asked.

Right, that was my thinking out loud about helping and self-sacrifice. I feel quite pleased with myself for figuring this out and writing it down, so if you have gotten anything out of it, it will be a win-win type of helping!

Until the next mental burp,

Golden Eagle Feather

Is life really a gift?

Hi folks,

I miss posting here so I am doing it even though I don’t actually have time. Oh wait, I am doing it so I must have time! LOL

Anyway, I often hear, “Life is a precious gift – treasure it”. But wait – the last I looked, life is full of pain – mine and others’. How can that pain be a precious gift?

I asked this of the Divine (the form of God I relate to best is the Grandmothers Speak or “Net of Light”).

The Great Council of the Grandmothers answered: “Pain is a gift, because it invites you to go deeper. And when you go deeper, you experience who you truly are: a being of peace, love and infinite compassion.”

So this begs the question, if we are truly eternal beings of peace and love as I have heard so often, then why bother to come to Earth and suffer…just to get back to being who we truly are?!? Why not just say “there” in that peaceful place of love all the time?

The Divine answered, “It’s like going on vacation – it’s so joyful to come home.” (That moves me so much, it makes me cry every time I think about it.)

Life presents us with infinite opportunities to experience the joy of coming home. This is why life is a gift. And this is why I meditate – to experience the joy of coming home, again and again.

Love doesn’t change anything

Welcome back to my blog (I say to myself and to you).

This time around I’ll post only in English.

I was just meditating in the bathtub, talking to the Grandmothers. They say that the best way to help someone is to soak them in a bath of love, and wait for them to get unstuck. The love-soaking process doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t try to change anything.

Love – real love, God-love – doesn’t need to change anything. In the big picture, everything is perfect exactly as it is. (But us humans can’t possibly understand that, so we try to change things all the time, which makes us terribly unhappy.)

It’s paradoxical; love doesn’t change anything, but when people (or plants, or animals) are loved, they change. Just because the experience of being loved awakens something inside their very cells – and then they change. Not because the love-r tried to change them; on the contrary, the one doing the loving loves them exactly as they are and has no desire to change them.

Think of how a dog is so happy to see you when you come home. No matter what you say, no matter what you do, that dog loves you. When confronted with love like this, your heart might soften – and then again it might not. Is your change of heart up to that dog and its stupid, canine, unconditional love for you? No, your heart is up to you. But a happy dog greeting you at the end of the day might be just the spark you were hoping for to turn your day around.

Love doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t try to change anything. And yet love is the most powerful force of change in the universe.

Sending you love,

Golden Eagle Feather

Daily Obsession: The army is not for artists

These Daily Obsessions are like a vitamin for the soul. Take one daily for obsessive worrying and criticizing. For English, scroll down.

Nederlands:

Vervullen verwijdert al het gevoel van afscheiding van de bron, verwijdert al het gevoel van klein zijn, behoeftig zijn of minderwaardig zijn. Dat is verdwenen. Er is alleen Voldaan Zijn en vanuit die staat vloeit alles op een gemakkelijke manier.” – De Grootmoeders door Sharon McErlane in De Grootmoeders spreken, p. 85-86

Tijdens de laatste paar weken heb ik het idee van discipline omarmd. Ik denk dat de roep van yang-energy me verleid heeft, in de vorm van “Mijn Potentieel Bereiken”. Ik probeerde om Mijn Potentieel te Bereiken gedurend ongeveer een week, dan ben ik ziek geworden. Het ziek-zijn heeft me terug in een staat van yin geforceerd, zodat ik kon rusten en yin-energie kon bijtanken. Ik heb mijn best gedaan om tegen het idee van “Ik kan mijn potentieel niet bereiken als ik ziek in bed lig” omdat ik door deze gedachte heen gezien heb, en het genoemd wat het is: de yang-wolf gekleed als een schaap.

Deze week heb ik (weer) geleerd dat ik geen mens ben voor het leger. Ik hoor daar niet bij en zal daarbij nooit horen. “Ons potentieel bereiken” gaat niet om iets bereiken. Volgens de Grootmoeders, gaat het simpelweg om een heilige ruimte vast te houden, elk moment dat onze ogen open zijn. Dat is alles – en het vraag een leven lang van minuut-tot-minuut discipline. Vreemd genoeg voelt deze soort discipline zodanig aangenaam dat het voelt alsof het geen discipline is.

Ik wens je de ervaring van Vol Zijn want in die staat van zijn is er nergens om naartoe te gaan en niets om te bereiken. Het is puur genieten.

Liefs,

Golden Eagle Feather

 

English:

Fullfillment erases all of the feeling of being cut off from the source, erases the feeling of being small, needy or not enough. That is gone. There is only Being Full and from that state, everything flows in an easy fashion.” – The Grandmothers via Sharon McErlane in A Call to Power, around p. 84

I have been embracing the idea of discipline for a couple of weeks. I guess I got seduced by the call of yang energy in the form of Achieving My Potential. The effort to Achieve My Potential lasted for about a week and then I got sick. Being sick forced me back into a yin state, so I could rest and tank up on yin energy. I did my best to fight the recurrent idea of “I can’t achieve my potential if I’m sick in bed” because I saw that thought for what it was: the yang-wolf in sheep’s clothing.

What I have learned this week (again) is that I just don’t belong in the army and never will. “Achieving our potential” is not about achieving something. According to the Grandmothers, it is simply to hold a holy space wherever we go, whenever our eyes are open. That’s all – and that takes a lifetime of minute-by-minute discipline. Oddly, however, this kind of discipline feels so good, it doesn’t feel like discipline at all.

I wish you the experience of Being Full, because in that state there is nowhere to go and nothing to achieve. It is bliss.

Love,

Golden Eagle Feather