Sex and sexuality (English)

On Female Sexuality

by Golden Eagle Feather

 

Preface:

I can’t write about male sexuality because I am not a man. I could write about the ways that men have hurt women and girls and boys with their sexuality, but that story has already come to light. Now the time has come to talk about the highest expression of women’s sexuality. I hope a man will feel the call to do so from the male perspective.

This message about female sexuality is meant to be shared. Please like this on Facebook, forward it to your friends, translate this text, and talk about these ideas. Much of this text is based on The Grandmothers Speak by Sharon McErlane, so if you need some clarification, you can visit http://www.grandmothersspeak.com to find out more about the Great Council of the Grandmothers and the books by Sharon McErlane. The Grandmothers (one face of the Divine) are asking this message to travel the world around so all women, and all men, can be healed by it. You hereby have my permission to share it, along with my blessings for healing and more love and peaceful power than most of us can currently imagine.

Tremendous healing is now taking place on Earth. Grandmothers, I thank  from the bottom of my heart for being able to take part in your work and share it with the world.

MY VISION ABOUT FEMALE SEXUALITY

This story started in September 2011 during a gathering of women and a few men who follow the teachings of The Grandmothers. One member of the group led us in a movement/dance experience of “yin and yang”. She led us in an overt, yet playful, exploration of sexual and sensual movement. She was publicly enjoying her sexuality, and she was encouraging us to do the same.

Normally I have a great time moving, dancing, being sensual while dancing and approaching sexuality in a playful way. But this day was different. The more I watched the leader of our dance-experience and her beautiful and powerfully erotic way of moving, the more uncomfortable I started to feel. The discomfort mounted until I thought my head would explode and I finally left the room.

I went outside, fighting the tears, and found a quiet place to meditate. I found myself sitting in front of a statue that reminded me of Maria. In meditation, I went to the Grandmother’s circle and desperately asked them to heal the pain I was feeling. I didn’t understand it and I wanted their help. From the serious and earnest look on their faces, I knew that this was A Big Deal. “This is about all women,” they said. “How the yin-power of all women has been damaged.”

They then showed me a series of images of a woman who represented “Woman”. Woman has responded to this damage by surrounding herself with an armored breast-plate. This armor covers her breasts, her most prominent womanly feature. The armored breast-plate does function to keep intrusive men away, but covering her breasts with steel cuts her off from her yin-power. This cut-off state also leads Woman to use her sexual power to manipulate men. The yang use of womanly power perverts the yin energy and ultimately disempowers the woman by separating her from the Divine.

The Grandmothers then showed Woman with her breast-plate removed. Under the armor, a mass of black-and-white-striped caterpillars were swarming in her chest. I looked for a long time at this gruesome sight, forcing myself to stay present with the images they gave me, and trusting that something would happen if I just waited. I realized that the squirming caterpillars were eating rotten flesh. Suddenly, the caterpillars turned into butterflies and flew off. When they flew away, they revealed a large golden heart surrounded by space.

Woman then stood up and received a scepter and a golden crown. She was very regal: the archetype of the Queen. She then put a different kind of protection over her chest – a transparent shield that revealed her heart and protected her at the same time.

This Queen remains in control of her sexuality. She can stimulate her own arousal or ask a man to share it with her. She knows when she wants sex, with whom, and why. The Queen’s sexuality is not selfish; it is holy. Many men were waiting to be chosen by the Queen. When she chose one and he joined with her, the Grandmothers showed me a round puzzle-box embossed with the yin and yang symbols. The yin-yang box twisted and locked together, a symbol of the couple’s joining. This holy union sent rays of golden energy out of the woman’s head into the universe and connected her more powerfully to the Divine. And the man thought it was fun too! That was the only information given about the man’s experience; this vision was given exclusively from the woman’s perspective. She was clearly in charge of her own sexual experience.

I thanked the Grandmothers for this clear message and opened my eyes. I looked at the Maria statue and I asked Maria if she had a message for me. The statue appeared to move before me, and she said “Enjoy your sexuality. Enjoy your sexuality.” I didn’t realize at the time how hilarious it was to be receiving that message from the Virgin herself. There is surely more to the Maria story than what the church has told.

The Grandmothers told me to share their message about sexuality with the group. I thought they meant our small discussion groups, but it soon became clear that I needed to share this with all 200 participants. So I did, and many women spontaneously came up to me afterward to thank me for saying what I did. They all recognized themselves in the Grandmothers’ message.

The Grandmothers also added a post-script to the vision. They said, “This power of yin – the ability to connect to so powerfully with God – has been hijacked, oppressed, distrusted, abused, and feared. It is a fearsome power and it should be treated with respect.

Women, don’t give it away or underestimate it. Men, treat it with the awe and respect due to the Divine, because women’s sexuality is a path to the Divine. When free, it will be a force to be reckoned with.”

After I told my story to the group, one man shared that he didn’t appreciate the humorous way I treated the man’s experience when recounting my vision to the group. He said that he felt pain about how he, and other men, want to be the King. They are also seeking a pathway to the Divine and they also feel pain about the suffering that women have undergone. I again said that the message I received was given for the women present and was given from the woman’s perspective. Later he suggested to the group that the men present get together separately. That surely needs to happen. Some work we can do together and some we must do separately.

W.’S VISION

After I shared my vision to the entire group, a woman came to me and said she had almost fainted while I was sharing about my vision because she had had a nearly identical vision two weeks earlier. W. describes her vision in her own words:

“I have been experiencing serious and uncomfortable symptoms in my hand, arm and shoulder – a frozen, stiff and poisoned feeling in my arm. In addition to regular medical care and diagnosis, I went to the osteopath for help. As part of the treatment he asked me about any traumas that I had experienced. When I told him about how my daughter was raped 20 years ago, he noticed that my body reacted by “freezing”. I immediately felt an enormous grief and I cried a bucketful.

That evening, I journeyed to the Grandmothers to ask help about this subject. I see myself with a metal breastplate that covers the affected side of my chest, goes over my shoulder, and also covers my back, but only on the affected side. It is a steel plate like a knight’s armor. A large white seagull flies up to me and starts picking away the armor. Very intense. Under the armor is another, more flexible layer, and another layer under that. The seagull keeps on picking until it reveals a squirming pile of brown-and-black worms or caterpillars eating rotten and bloody meat. I am especially shocked by the blood. I stop that image because it is enough.

Then I see several caterpillar-like beings hanging on a sort of string, like a pupa (they are pupating). The scenes were so revolting that I didn’t pay attention for a moment. How did those pupae come into the picture?

In any case, I stop the vision there and that is good. (After this experience I have an overpowering desire to make love and fortunately I can! Wonderful!)

The next day something completely unexpected happens: my daughter suddenly starts, after 20 years, to talk about having been raped and we can discuss it openly. The words and feelings finally start to flow after years of having been stuck.

That evening I asked if I may make another journey and I had the following experience. I swim in the sea, with Seagull floating next to me. The sea is pitch black. But suddenly I have a kind of overview of the scene and I see that the part of the sea in which I’m swimming is black because a dark cloud is hanging over it. Beyond the cloud is light and I swim toward it. I’m swimming in the path made by the setting sun. I swim into the sun and in that blinding light, I see the figure of a woman. I kneel before her. She offers me a scepter, puts a golden crown on my head and covers me with a blue mantel.

She gestures around her and I get a sort of view over the earth. “But where is the king?” I ask. She picks up a stone, touches a tree, a lake, a frog, a branch…. “There is the king,” she says. I lie down in the moss and I sink into the earth. I see all of the layers, until I reach the fire, the center of the Earth. I lose consciousness. When I come to, I rise, coughing, in a pond of water. The woman is standing on the side and she helps me out. Happiness, joy! It worked! I jump for joy.

I have wings now and Seagull and I do stunts in the air. When we land back in the dunes, I want to thank him, but he keeps his distance and flies away. “Seagulls don’t hug,” he says, but I know that he is very pleased.

A few days later, I meet the Grandmothers again. They are very serious and say to me, “Your ‘illness’, your symptoms, are not just a message for yourself but also reflect something bigger that is happening on Earth. Your personal transformation is part of helping to transform the entire planet.”

During the Grandmothers’ Gathering, W. and I did a healing session together. She then shared that her mother had been the victim of tremendous abuse that had never been talked about. The only reason W. knew her mother had even been abused was because her mother, as an old woman, was delirious from a high fever and during her delirium she talked about certain experiences from her childhood. W’s mother had even tried to kill her own father (W’s grandfather) at one point. Alcohol played a starring role in that family, along with a whip that hung above the front door that her father used when he came home drunk. The rest of the story can only be filled in by the imagination.

During the Gathering, W. made spiritual contact with her mother’s ancestral line during meditations with the Ancestors. This was the first time she had ever experienced any form of connection with that side of the family and she was able to see her grandfather – up to then only known as “the bad guy” – as a person, and she was even able to forgive him for his actions. When W. and I were working together to heal her arm, she had the feeling of being surrounded by four women (W. and I were alone in the room). At one point, she could make no distinction between the touch of my hands and the touch of the women surrounding her and helping with the healing. She and I are clearly meant to bring this story of sexuality and healing together into the world. Her story is my story, my mothers’ story, my sisters’ story. Healing this pain on an individual level is healing all the women of the world.

SEX IN ITS HIGHEST FORM RE-CREATES GOD

In the union of male and female, physically and energetically, life starts. Sex between men and women makes babies, but women’s sexuality leads to pregnancy. This reality is the physical expression of the essential difference between Man and Woman. The physical creation of new life is impossible without the vital impulse of male seed and male energy. The act of sex reflects the essence of the energies of yin and yang. Yin is the container, the one who accepts, yields and opens; yang is linear, angular and thrusting. Woman envelops, man penetrates. In the act of sexual intercourse, the woman is much more vulnerable. Accepting someone inside your body requires trust in a way that penetrating someone else’s body never can.

This union in its highest form recreates God. We each represent half of the image of God, and in sexual ecstasy we lose our minds and reunite with the Divine. God the Mother, God the Grand-Mother, evokes very different images and feelings than “God the Father”. God the Father is loving but strict and punishing, powerful and fearsome, the holder of conditions on the love being shared. God the Grand-Mother is soft, restful, loving – the ultimate safe haven. In truth, God contains both of these principles: the deep feminine energy and the highest expression of the masculine.

Not only does this union recreate God in the instant of sexual ecstasy, it leads to the creation of new life: the spirit of God in a new body. The sexual act in its highest form is an expression of human love and Divine Love, from which all life springs. Women, the carriers of life, have another opportunity to exercise their yin power by accepting the obvious consequence of the sexual act: babies.

The woman has the honor and responsibility for creating and nurturing new life. The man can be here one day and gone the next, and often is, but growing a baby during 9 months creates a sense of obligation, connection, bondedness, duty. Pregnancy and motherhood open the heart. A baby is and always will be connected to its mother energetically and vice versa. This cannot be otherwise. Those energetic bonds are strengthened and awakened by the process of caring for a baby, knowing that baby, and seeing God through its eyes.

WOMEN’S SEXUALITY IS ABOUT CONNECTING

The purpose of a woman’s life is to be here in connection with others. Women’s highest calling is to love, to nurture, and to care, regardless of the framework (work, relationship, whatever) in which that caring is happening. Misunderstanding what love is, and having that love be abused, leads to grave mistakes. Women and girls often mistake sex for love. Many men are capable of having sex as an experience disconnected from the heart. To be sure, some men experience that as empty and unsatisfying, and some women have superficial sex, but the trends in one direction or the other cannot be denied.

In every area of their lives, women seek love, connection, and connectedness. They are drawn to helping professions; they like to talk about feelings and relationships. Even in stressful situations, women’s need for connectedness trumps the so-called “fight or flight response”. Shelley Taylor, a psychology researcher, discovered that women and females of most species have a more complex and nuanced response to danger. The fight/flight response exists in females, but when faced with stressful situations their levels of the hormone oxytocin increase (the hormone released during breastfeeding), they show more nurturing behavior toward their young, and they increase social behavior with other females. Taylor’s team coined this female, alternative stress response as “tend and befriend”.

Connecting is also the focus of sex for a woman. Women experience sexual passion but it is slower and deeper than male arousal. For them, the connection comes first and then the sexual fire, while for men, this order is often reversed. For the same reason, women and girls get confused between “he thinks I’m pretty” and “he wants to CONNECT with me”.

Woman’s sexuality is like her very yoni: it is deep and round. Her arousal is sometimes fast, sometimes slow, but is always deeply connected to her emotions and the state of her soul. For her, sex is a way to both reflect her connectedness and to deepen her connection – to her partner, to the deepest layers of her psyche, and to the Divine. Female sexual ecstasy reflects the communion of the woman with all of Life, with Mother Earth, and with the Divine.

For a woman to be fully present sexually, she needs to clear her mind and re-establish a heart connection. Women tend to have trouble with “intrusive thoughts” during sex much more frequently than men. This can also be explained by the need to care for children – women’s attention is broad and multidimensional, as they need to function on many levels at the same time. The movement of yang, in contrast, is linear, simple, one-dimensional. Men engaged in sexual activity do it with a single-mindedness that most mothers would envy.

Female sex in its highest expression is an expression of what is, not a seeking of what could be. Sex can be fun and light and playful, but in its highest expression, the ground is first set through relationship, a heart connection, and a spiritual connection. Then the body and the soul rejoice and are safe to lose control. Only then can the woman freely express the flow of joy, power and energy surging through her body.

WOMAN’S SOLAR PLEXUS CHAKRA HAS BEEN DAMAGED

Women and girls want to be pretty. But why? Why do women and girls spend so much time and money and energy just trying to be beautiful? Biologically, being beautiful is about attracting men to have sex and procreate. But there is more to beauty than biology alone.

Woman’s solar plexus chakra – the collective female ego – has been damaged. This energetic ego-center governs how she comes out into the world. The damage to Woman’s solar plexus chakra explains why women seek external validation for their beauty – especially from men but also from other women.

The Great Council of the Grandmothers say, “Women know instinctively that beauty and power go together. They strive to be beautiful to get the power that they are seeking. But beauty without power will always be abused, either by others or by the individual him- or herself. …You seek external beauty…and you seek external power…. It’s a shame that none of that will give you the release you are seeking and you will always be disappointed and seeking. Don’t waste any time looking outside of yourself for what you think you need. Instead, go inside to the source of power inside yourself. We promise that if you start looking for this inside yourself, you will indeed find that beauty and power are one and the same.” (A Call to Power: The Grandmothers Speak, p. 40)

The Grandmothers explain that when a woman is in her yin-power, she is irresistible because she represents the mothership. Woman is the place where the little boats go to refuel before going back out into the world. Children understand the need to refuel at the mothership; they ask to just sit on their mothers’ lap for a while before going off to play again. Men naturally do not carry as much yin energy within their bodies and thus need to get it from outside of themselves (usually from a woman, but also from nature or other yin sources). This explains Man’s love of fishing and hunting – these are yin activities with a yang goal-orientation. Men need to refuel at the mothership. This is part of what keeps them sane and balanced. They instinctively want to “go back to the womb” – they crave connection with the Divine Mother, they crave the comfort of yin, and they get desperate and try to steal it from women when they don’t know how else to access it.

A woman’s capacity to help others “refuel” is the essence of what makes women attractive, but we have all forgotten this and have therefore become very confused. Men crave this connection with the female body without understanding why. They worship the stereotypical female form and in doing so turn women into sexual objects. Women accept this and even stimulate it because they are equally damaged and confused. Women carry generations of abuse of this essential yin-power in their very DNA. Sex is not the only way for a man to refuel at the mothership, however. Once men understand their need to refuel and learn other ways to “top up” their own portion of yin energy, they will be able to wait for sex and remain calm and balanced whether they choose to have sex or not.

Women, in their ignorance and disconnection from their yin power and from their true selves, abuse their own sexuality in the same way men abuse it. They manipulate and use the power of their sexuality to imprison men, to make them stay, to get men to buy them things and otherwise support them economically, to confuse men, to mislead them, and to keep them off-balance and disempowered. Women unfamiliar with yin-power try to borrow male power by misusing their own sexuality, not knowing that the power inside of each woman is one of the most powerful energies on the planet.

WOMEN’S SEXUALITY IS AN AWESOME POWER.

Women’s sexuality is essential to their power. Their sexuality is a fundamental expression of the creative power of God. God creates life, again and again, and nurtures the life created. Women’s bodies are made to do the very same thing – to create life, again and again, and to nurture the life that they create. This capacity to create life, to love “as only a mother can love,” is an earthly reflection of the love that the Divine has for all people.

A woman’s power is directly related to her connection to the Divine and to her connection to Mother Earth. The cycles of a woman’s body are connected to the cycles of nature. Her body knows and moves according to daily cycles, the monthly cycle, and the seasonal cycles of nature. Women are traditionally responsible for making food at regular times throughout the day and washing things when they get dirty, over and over again. Women traditionally organize the recurring holidays throughout the year. In most religions, they are the ones to mark the recurring anniversaries and memorials. Not only are women present at the birth of their own children, they help other women give birth. Women are responsible for nursing the sick back to health until the next bout of illness occurs. Women care for the dying and prepare the dead for burial. Women’s work is circular and recurring; women also think non-linearly and, when possible, prefer to organize their social and power structures in a non-hierarchical manner.

Women’s bodies give them a head start when it comes to knowing God. A woman’s body is created to connect both with Mother Earth and with God the Mother. The Grandmothers have told me that the vibration of the Earth and the vibration of the Divine are the same tone but that the earthly vibration is the bass note and the Divine vibration is the overtone. Together they are much more interesting to listen to than just one note alone. Those who can discern one tone can also discern the other, even though they may not be able to name or identify it. A woman’s physical connection to the earthly cycles supports her special way of knowing called “women’s intuition”.

When a woman’s sexuality is healed and free to flow, all of her power is unleashed and she grows bigger and more powerful than she could ever imagine. This power is awesome, but it need not be feared, for it is the very power of Love and as such will always create, nurture and support life.

IT IS AN HONOR TO CONNECT SEXUALLY WITH A WOMAN.

Women’s sexuality is a direct line to the Divine. Sexual connection with a woman elevates a man’s experience of the Divine and enhances, deepens, and reinforces the woman’s connection to the Divine. Both partners are lifted up.

Freely flowing sexual energy does not mean having sex with just anyone for just any reason. On the contrary, that sort of unconscious and confused behavior disappears as the woman’s sexuality heals. Sex, like the eyes, are a window to the soul. The color of those eyes – the liveliness, the life-ful-ness – has been drained out of modern Western sexuality. When Woman’s sexuality is healed, choice returns and compulsion disappears. The woman is free to either manifest the flow of her sexual energy on the physical level or she can use it simply to enhance the enjoyment and intensity of her daily activities. The choice to engage in sex then comes from a deep knowing, not from a superficial desire.

Good sex – sex in its highest expression – dissolves those boundaries and reunites us in God. Low-level sex feels so bad because, instead of dissolving those boundaries, it ignores their existence and crashes through them, damaging the integrity of the people involved.

WOMEN IN THEIR POWER ARE PROTECTED BY THEIR VERY WAY OF BEING

When a woman is fully in her power, she is surrounded by a protective shield that also guarantees that the essence of her sexuality remains unscathed.

When Peace Pilgrim walked across the US in the 1970s, sleeping wherever she could lay her head, she was surrounded by danger. One day a man approached her with the intention of doing her harm (what sort of harm can be inferred from the story). When he came close to her, something transformed in him and he could no longer harm her. Instead, he became one of her most fervent followers.

In Lakota tradition, White Buffalo Calf Woman appeared to two male scouts. One approached her with “evil intent” (again, what sort of intent is left to the imagination but we can guess what he wanted). When he came close to her, they were enveloped in a cloud. When the cloud cleared, the scout had been reduced to ashes.

Women in their power can protect themselves just by BEING in their power. Most women alive today have no idea what that would look or feel like. The Grandmothers have come to rectify that situation and in doing so, they preserve, nurture and lift up all life on Earth.

BOUNDARIES AND BOUNDLESS GIVING

How often do we women say yes when our heart says no? How often do we say no when we really want to say yes?

Women are connected to the love of God. That love is the love that loves, regardless. That love is God-the-Mother love.

Women know this divine love; women feel at home in that Love. For this reason, they find it difficult to create the seeming separation of “no” or “not now”. Women want to swim in the One Love and hate conflict because that seems to create disconnection. But what happens when a woman’s truth does not match someone else’s desires? How can a woman say no – or yes – and be met with manipulation, cajoling, resistance, force, anger, disappointment, even risk her very life as is common in many countries, and still stay clear in her NO or YES?

That clarity comes with knowing her power, from letting it stream through her body, from feeling the excitement and the power of her sexuality, and having total control over the manifestation of that power.

When we speak of power, we only have a yang model. Men know how to “do” power; they know how to “do” limits. In this time of out-of-control yang energy, boundaries are often set in a seemingly uncaring and often unnecessarily harsh way, often even to the point of being violent. Yin energy does not feel at home in this yang expression of setting a boundary. Women mistakenly think that being “nice” or “loving” means that they are not allowed to assert themselves, set boundaries, or refuse to “give of themselves” when that is requested. But compassion and empathy do not equate being a doormat. A woman in her power can lovingly speak her truth, even when faced with disagreement.

When women give and give out of their personal energy and in a state of disconnection from the Divine, they overdraw their bio-energetic bank account. This weakens and disempowers them. Resentment and passive aggression become the order of the day. This energetic imbalance forces women to “borrow” energy from another person – from their children, from their partners, from their parents, even from total strangers…anyone will do. Women who give too much never feel satisfied and are never secure, because as soon as the power comes in, they spend it on someone else. This is not Woman’s highest expression.

And yet a woman’s very body knows where the boundaries are. Women and girls know how it feels “yucky” to be leered at or touched with lewd intent. Women’s bodies also know how to set a very firm boundary starting from the birth of their first baby. If you think that women aren’t strong enough to set boundaries, imagine this. After 9 months of watery, nurturing acceptance of a growing baby, a woman becomes so rude as to kick her baby out of its warm nest, squeeze it through a vice, and expel it into a cold, hard, loud environment. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the child then needs to hear “no” again and again in many forms as it learns how to navigate life on Earth. Are mothers just mean, harsh and nasty? Or is there another way of looking at those “no’s”?

The Grandmothers point out that many adult men alive today, particularly those in power, are “moys” – boys in a man’s body. These moys are the ones who protest when they don’t get the sex they think they are entitled to; it is a woman’s job to educate them about the true nature of woman’s sexuality just as they would educate their teenage son about how to relate to his future partners.

Many women, along with devoted, loving men, want to know how it is possible to embody Divine Love and simultaneously set firm boundaries, even to the point of disappointing someone or – God forbid – excluding someone?

How can a woman who feels most at home in the vast ocean of Divine Love also say “no”? How can she look at someone who has a burning need, and say “no, I can’t – or won’t – help you?” How can the yin-vat that accepts and encompasses everything without judgment also decide to apparently throw something or someone out of that vat of love?

The answer is “knowing truth”. Truth can channel the Ocean of Love into a vertical geyser (a yang movement) when necessary.

Even Divine Love, which encompasses and accepts everything without criticism and with total acceptance, does not allow things to happen when they are not appropriate. Sometimes a situation was acceptable for a time but can no longer be tolerated, such as the long-term imbalance of yin and yang that is now being rectified. This imbalance is threatening to destroy all life on our planet, and as such, it can no longer be tolerated. The Grandmothers tell us to “be big” – to experience our Divine selves and see life from the Divine perspective. From that point of view, we are all One. In that knowledge of our unity, it is easy to hold someone in the unity of Love and to simultaneously say “no” to actions that do not support life. There is just one problem: we don’t live in the sky with the Grandmothers. We live on Planet Earth.

Life on Earth happens in a dimension where space, time, and matter come together. Embodied life happens inside a skin. Earthly reality means living in a world of boundaries and separation, starting with the harsh experience of birth. Without boundaries, our earthly bodies are endangered. Think of a small child running into the street in front of a car. That behavior cannot be tolerated or supported because it endangers the child’s life. The word “no”, together with rules, regulations, and boundaries in all other forms are essential. They protect us from ourselves, and they protect others from our dangerous or hurtful behavior. We have bodies that need protecting and we need to operate in time and space. Boundaries and limits are part of this game.

It is possible to say no on the skin-level and simultaneously stay in the vast ocean of love on the Divine level. The vertical geyser-movement is the “no”, while the “no” itself is part of the ocean of love. The geyser is still a movement of love, because it supports life. Think of lovingly divorcing someone, lovingly refusing sex, lovingly asking for something you need, lovingly inviting someone to change, lovingly disciplining a child, or lovingly stating your unwillingness to remain in the status quo.

When someone speaks her truth, the truth is just being spoken, nothing more. It may be painful to hear because that truth may bring the listener to contact a painful place within him or herself, or it may arouse some erroneous thoughts in the listener. But when someone speaks her truth, it is simply HER truth. It is not an attack, it is not damaging; it is simply a fact. The listener will most likely have another truth, which often has little or nothing to do with the other person’s truth. Truth invites movement, flow. Truth is an opportunity to grow.

When two or more people state their truths in a loving way, no one gets damaged, and new, unforeseen possibilities can arise. Sometimes a puzzling problem remains unresolved and stands like an unhewn statue in the middle of the room. The parties involved are then left to figure out what to do next, but this situation is not damaging. It’s just life expressing itself in a loving way.

Carrying out any intention in earthly reality requires setting boundaries in space and time. We have senses and feelings, and if someone says “that music is so loud it hurts my ears,” that the simple truth.  A clear request – “Can you please turn down the music?” – creates an opening for the other person to respond with equal clarity. The response may be, “Sure” or “No, I can’t” or “No, I don’t want to” and each of those can be the truth for that person at that time. Then the one whose ears are hurting has several choices: stay, leave, or try to persuade the other to change her mind.

This sort of problem-solving requires a great portion of yin-power: the power to rest and sit with the situation without trying to change it, and at the same time connecting with your own truth and Divine input into the situation. Contrary to what many women believe about the nature of Love, yin-power is not weak or passive. A new model of feminine behavior is emerging: women who can be gentle, feminine, pretty, strong, and clear all at the same time.

During the Grandmothers gathering in Holland in 2011, a very special soul embodied in a Down-syndrome body was making loud noises during the opening meditation on Friday evening. He and his mother were then asked to move to the back of the room and the mother decided to leave. Their leaving the room happened in a fairly dramatic way that involved the whole group. In the upset that followed, Sharon explained that the noises he was making were distracting from the meditative work that formed the backbone of the workshop. She stated in no uncertain terms that those noises were not going to be allowed to disrupt our work.

What happened next was a perfect example of how to lovingly draw a boundary in support of life. In this case, the boundary drawn supported the goal of the meeting, which was to support and heal all life on Earth. No one would be allowed to interfere with that work, intentionally or unintentionally.

Many of the women present had great difficulty with the clear decision to exclude him from the workshop. They were confused about how we could be sitting there, striving to express and embody Divine Love, and then ask someone to leave the room against his mother’s will. That seemed to be at odds with the Grandmothers’ message. When one woman urgently said, “We haven’t put this to a vote!” Sharon suddenly held up one hand and said “There will be no vote. We love this young man, but we can’t take the noises.”

Sharon told me later that she would probably have at least discussed the matter to make everyone comfortable (as women are wont to do), but the Grandmothers came through her and clearly said NO to his presence because of the noises he made during the meditation. Suddenly, there was no room for discussion, and no time would be devoted to the subject: the work we were doing needed to go deep and the noises were interfering with the group’s ability to do that deep work. Period. The truth of the moment was “We have one clear intention, and the presence of these noises makes it impossible for that intention to be met. Ergo, the noises need to leave the room.” The young man and his mother were still included in the Grandmothers’ bath of love and at the same time, his body and his voice were not allowed to be in that room because they were at cross purposes to the very important, and often very quiet, work that was being done that weekend.

This young man was one of the many “teachers” we will have as we walk this path of becoming empowered as women. Teachers come in many forms, but they always challenge us to find and speak our truth. Sometimes they do that by challenging our boundaries, sometimes by stirring up uncomfortable feelings, and sometimes they take the form of a friend who encourages us to find our own truth and speak it. Regardless of our comfort or discomfort with those teachings, we can be grateful for these “teachers”, because they invite us to grow in yin-power.

I thank the Grandmothers for these ideas, and for the opportunity to share them in this way. May these words bring healing, love and understanding to all who read them.

 

Additional thoughts, added as a postscript:

More than one man has said to me that men feel more emotionally open to their sexual partner after sex, whereas women in general seem to be wired the opposite way. Women want to feel emotionally intimate before opening themselves to the act of sex, but men get there more easily only afterward.

What in the world was God thinking, wiring us up this way?!?

I realized that perhaps the reason for men’s behavior is that the act of sex gives them access to the woman’s yin-energy, which helps to soften their heart and brings their emotions and feelings of love to the surface.

Just a random thought…

Golden Eagle Feather

10 comments on “Sex and sexuality (English)

    • sab1mail says:

      … wow ! what an excellent looong article and sharing so openly, clearly and powerful .

      i cannot agree more with all of the above !

      thank you for sharing with us .
      powerfully & gratefully ,
      s

  1. Ann says:

    Bless you for sharing this..very important message..I need to read it again and drink in deeply of the wisdom there..although I “know” it intrinsically. Love to you.

  2. Bless you for reading my blog! I was pretty blown away when the Grandmothers gave me that vision about sexuality – and several downloads that followed. The story of female sexuality continues to unfold, for all of us, men and women alike. With great love, hope and healing, Golden Eagle Feather

  3. […] few years ago, the Grandmothers gave me quite a vision about female sexuality. I wrote an essay about sex and sexuality from the female point of view. I have created a page on this site so you can read (and please […]

    • Thanks for the pingback! Golden Eagle Feather

      • sab1mail says:

        dear friend,

        may i share the link of your long essay on sexuality on my FB page ?

        i feel it is so worth spreading ….

             thanks, with love from a lazy, cozy  rainy   holiday afternoon in graz –

        sabine

         

        In La’Kesh

        (Mayan for :  ‘ You are another Me, I am another You ‘ )

        UNITY   in   DIVERSITY 

        ________________________________ Von: goldeneaglefeather An: sab1mail@yahoo.de Gesendet: 14:58 Donnerstag, 30.Mai 2013 Betreff: [New comment] Sex and sexuality (English)

        WordPress.com goldeneaglefeather commented: “Thanks for the pingback! Golden Eagle Feather”

      • OF COURSE you can share it! Share, share, share…

  4. MischaMarch says:

    Thank you for introducing me to the Grandmothers. I just feel a call to go learn more about them.

    • You’re very welcome. The Grandmothers say that they come and find us, so if you feel called then go ahead and learn more. If you are reading this but don’t feel interested in learning more about the Grandmothers, this is as it should be. The words of the Divine are meant for all – and each of us has our own way of finding the messages that we need the most, exactly on time. Be well, Golden Eagle Feather

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